Last year I quit my job as a federal employee for the VA. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, however it couldn’t be postponed any longer. The job I once loved and had much enthusiasm about was now causing me more stress an anxiety than I’d liked, especially since I was being overworked and underpaid.
Although watching other people get promoted while I did a significant amount of the work was a buzz kill and major blow to my ego, the physical ailments that came in the form of headaches, stomach aches, chest pains, and anxiety attacks, was where I began to draw the line.
The way I was feeling at and about my situation at work affected my health and my mood. I refused to go home in a bad mood, it was and still is not something I want my son to see. This means even more time was spent away from the one that matters the most. I would spend countless amounts of time in my car trying to check myself and shake my “bad” attitude, whether that meant sitting idle or driving down I-5 with the music blaring and burning all my damn gas!
One Friday (I had called off), I sat out in the sun all day meditating (thinking about) my situation. I thought about how my son was not phased by my absence. He would smile as I walked out the door saying bye mommy!!!! To him it was the NORM plus I was unhappy at work. That day I knew I wouldn’t be going back to work. My tarot cards confirmed what I already knew and I broke all the way down. Some people would call me crazy for walking away from what they would say is or was a good thing. But my truth is…everybody there knew I deserved more. The pros didn’t outweigh the cons in mine eye. On my scale of determined worth…My son outweighed all!
What I’ve been doing since?
Living! I’ve been able to Travel like I’ve always wanted to (thanks bey). Writing and BLOGGING (a dream – even if I’m not getting paid!) I’ve been continuously Growing Spiritually and becoming the best me so that I may raising a young God!
I ain’t gone say everything been all great. Shit I got bills like everyone else and I too, have been guilty of worrying about irrelevant things. But the process forced vulnerability on me and that was the greatest lesson. I had to be vulnerable, I had to humble myself, I had to drop my ego. I had to learn to ask for help when I needed it and to receive it with open arms when it was offered. I had to learn it was okay for people to love and care about me and to allow them to do so. I had to learn not to judge myself so harshly and that I too was allowed to need help and make mistakes (quitting being the best “mistake” I’ve ever made). I learned who had my back and who didn’t. The purging of my environment and the energy around me was not only real but damn near forced! Lol. Yes mama spanked my ass good! But now that the “storm” is over I can say 100% for sure without a doubt with hindsight and clear vision that the ascension is worth the turbulent take off!
As I sit around my son’s room after I have filled it with the things that represent the next stage in our lives (Pre-K) <<<article coming soon>>> I can’t help but be grateful for everything I’ve experienced in the past year and for the strength and perseverance, and SOMETIMES graciousness my soul has shown me through out the process. Seeing this room fill up reminded me of why it is pivotal to let things go but most importantly why it is important to always leave space!
Where I’m headed!
All the way up! Walking away from my job was the beginning amongst many things. And after all the strong ass lessons that came this year, I can say I’m even more grateful to be off the clock and in the moment. I am beginning to see my dreams form and take shape. I’m beginning to reap the benefits of my labor. I am already proof that hard work pays off and now is just the time to take it up a notch again STARTING WITH ME! It’s a whole new journey! A whole new life! (How many lives have you lived?) I am excited to share it with you all!
I’m interested in finding out who Kenyatta Monique is now that she knows the American Dream is not working hard to move up the corporate ladder.
Who is Kenyatta Monique, not the wife or the mom, the student, the veteran, any of those things. (Although I do embrace each of those titles!) The gypsy in me finds it hard to commit to most any one thing! Sorry I’m rambling! Lol.
Starting off on the right foot, for me, means a good book! SELF-HELP TYPE!
Today was Day Two of my newest read SOUL COACHING by Denise Linn. I can’t make any promises but I will do my best to give you all a summary of each section (element) of this book. This book cover the authentic self. I believe it will provide a path to self rediscovery.
You can purchase a copy of Soul Coaching : Here
OAN: Quitting my job was a defining moment. If you wrote a memoir what would the topic of discussion be and what did you learn from it?
Peace, Love, & Eternal Light